Ohio couple, David and Kathy Farrar, managed to raise the ire of Catholic dissident group “We are Church” last Saturday by accidentally mistaking one of their gatherings for a “fancy dress expo”.
“It was a genuine mistake” said Mr Farrar to a local Catholic journalist on Saturday afternoon.
Mr Farrar and his wife Kathy had been invited to a friend’s fancy dress birthday party, so last Saturday they took a trip into town to find a shop that could sell them some costumes for the party.
While walking through town, Mr Farrar said they “decided to take a shortcut through the local convention centre.”
“While we were in there we noticed some women dressed up in what we thought were Egyptian priestess costumes” said David Farrar.
“My wife and I thought that they might be able to show us where they got their hilarious costumes from, so we followed them.”
As David and Kathy Farrar approached the two women they found themselves suddenly rounding a corner into the We are Church conference.
“We couldn’t believe our eyes” said Kathy Farrar, “there were more women dressed as Egyptian priestesses and some were even dressed as priests, it was a real hoot.”
It was at this point that things turned out rather badly for David and Kathy Farrar.
“We thought it was a fancy dress expo, I mean everyone knows that women can’t be priests and no normal person dresses like an Egyptian priestess, so we naturally thought it was a fancy dress expo; they even had stalls set up and everything” said Mr Farrar.
At this point David and Kathy Farrar approached someone behind one of the stalls and asked where they could buy one of the costumes from because “all their friends would laugh themselves silly at a woman pretending to be a priest.”
“The lady behind the stall just went nuts” said David Farrar; “her eyes glazed over and she started frothing at the mouth and hurling abuse at me and my wife, I really became concerned at that point and I tried to lead Kathy to an exit.”
It is uncertain how things developed from this point, as witnesses tell conflicting stories, but before David and Kathy Farrar could reach the exit they were surrounded by angry women in rainbow cassocks and strangely quiet men with ponytails and pastel waistcoats on.
“I looked into the eyes of those men and I saw nothing” said Kathy Farrar; “it was like they had been turned into zombies who were controlled by the women in the room. They just kept apologising for being “born a male”.
David and Kathy said they really became fearful when the mob began chanting “en-i-gram” over and over again in unison.
“I have no idea what an enigram is, but I knew that I didn’t want to stick around to find out” said David Farrar.
At this point the convention centre security guards stepped in and removed David and Kathy Farrar from the conference area.
David and Kathy Farrar are still uncertain whether they will attend their friend’s fancy dress birthday party after the ordeal they experienced at the We are Church convention.
An artist's depiction of the men the Farrars encountered