Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Catholic man struggles to gain Church acceptance of his vocational calling

In a move sure to outrage some traditionalists; Australian man; Peter Grove, has launched a new inclusiveness campaign to raise awareness of what he calls “a grave abuse of human rights that is being perpetrated by the Catholic Church”.

Mr Grove is angry that the Catholic hierarchy will not recognise his right to give birth to a child. “This is just another example of the patriarchal Church trying to silence the call of God in the life of the laity” said Mr Grove.

Mr Grove said he first became aware of his calling to motherhood after watching the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie “Junior”. It was a real eye opener said Mr Grove. “The feeling was really strong, it was like the Holy Spirit was telling me; “Peter, this is your calling”, and I just felt really good about it.”

Grove said that after his initial calling he began to “see signposts” in his life that really affirmed things for him. “Just the other day I was driving to the shops thinking about my newfound calling when I looked up to see that the car in front of me had one of those “Baby on board” window signs, it all adds up!”

Mr Grove claims that his problems with the Catholic Church began when he first consulted his Catechism and found that all references to motherhood related exclusively to females. “It was like someone had purposely designed the statements about motherhood in the Catechism to exclude males who are called to this vocation” said Mr Grove.

“I have made more phone calls than I care to remember and yet the Catholic Church has no agencies, prayer groups, or anything set up for people like me. This is a disgraceful abandonment of human rights by the Catholic hierarchy” said Mr Grove.

Local reporters raised the issue with Mr Grove’s Bishop and he said that he was “a little unsure exactly how to best meet Peter’s pastoral needs” but that “a Diocesan committee had been established” to cater for other men in Mr Groves predicament. “We have the top social justice experts handling this issue; it’s really challenging my previous model of motherhood” said Mr Grove’s Bishop.

Mr Grove plans to launch his awareness campaign with a new yellow triangle shaped car sign that states; “The Church is denying me my right to have a baby on board”.

4 comments:

Tom Reagan said...

You've officially created The Onion of Catholicism. Nicely done!

Do you allow guest authors (if I put something equally hilarious together)?

My site at http://TomReagan.com is pretty serious, but I could probably release a lot of stress by writing something worthy of The Ox Files.

Joee Blogs said...

hahaha this is brilliant, absolutely first class mate!

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st.choirlady said...

Whatever this poor guy has ben drinking, I want some. Peter does not need church acceptance, he needs a good pychoanalyst...QUICK!!